


Cast Away the Loneliness

by Erin_Riwen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Demisexual Harry Potter, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts, M/M, Professor Draco Malfoy, Professor Harry Potter, Redeemed Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-09-05 04:44:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16803874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erin_Riwen/pseuds/Erin_Riwen
Summary: Post-divorce Harry takes on the position of DADA professor at Hogwarts and comes face to face with his past and his future.  Can he survive his students, his children, therapy and a fit and friendly Draco Malfoy?





	1. Return To Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sassy_cissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_cissa/gifts), [lettersbyelise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lettersbyelise/gifts), [MaesterChill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaesterChill/gifts), [tari_vilya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tari_vilya/gifts), [LLAP115](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLAP115/gifts), [timothysboxers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/timothysboxers/gifts), [alexandasboxers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexandasboxers/gifts).



> The audio at the start is the dialogue in the first scene. It was done by my lovely friend Timothysboxers and his equally lovely partner Alexandasboxers. I love you both!
> 
> This story is very personal for me. I share a lot of Harry’s childhood traumas and will take Harry through a journey that is very similar to mine. It won’t be graphic but it will be detailed. You can enjoy the story skipping those chapters, which will have their own warnings.
> 
> My life is crazy at the moment so I may miss a day posting here and there but I promise I will finish and will post it all eventually. 
> 
> Thank you to my amazing squad, Betsy, Elise, Emily, Tari, Tami, Tim & Alex. You guys are my foundation when I’m struggling and you always come through for me. I truly love you guys.
> 
> Special thanks to my dear friend Tami for being a stellar alpha and jumping in as a last minute beta. Any remaining mistakes are completely mine.
> 
> I have changed Albus’ name to Arthur Rubeus and Lily to Lily Molly. Nothing against Luna, I just wanted to honor Harry's stand in, always there parents and Hagrid, who always stood by Harry. On the other hand, I'm not fond of Dumbledore so that was quite on purpose. I just think these names represent both Harry and Ginny which makes me happy. Aside from the names, they are still the same kids I always hc.
> 
> The HP crowd belong to JKR; I’m grateful for the playground.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's return to Hogwarts brings unexpected surprises.

[link to mp3](http://www.cloverfieldcreations.com/assets/fests/25days/RTH.mp3)

August 2010

“So it’s true then, Harry Potter has returned to Hogwarts.”

Recognizing the familiar drawl, Harry turned around slowly and his breath caught in his throat. When the fuck had Malfoy turned into that? He took in the features softened slightly with age, the bright grey eyes and long, silky blond hair. His gaze lingered momentarily on lips curved into a slight smile before he forced his gaze back up to those piercing eyes.

“It’s true,” Harry replied, his lips curving into a grin, “unless I’m a figment of your imagination, in which case, you really need to get out more.”

Draco laughed, leaning casually against the doorframe. “So, we’re to have the Savior of the Wizarding world teaching here. We’ll be the envy.”

Harry snorted and shook his head. “That was a long time ago.” His face softened. “How’s the latest Savior of the Wizarding world then?”

Draco started but quickly regained his composure and his face turned serious. “Grateful,” he said quietly. “Grateful to have found the right answer in time. Grateful to still have my son.”

Harry nodded. “Me too. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Thank you, again.”

Draco bowed his head slightly.

“Tea?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” Draco entered Harry’s quarters properly then, taking the offered seat at the kitchen bar.

Harry watched him through dark lashes as he poured the tea, noting the way his eyes traveled over the large kitchen/dining/living area and his brows lifted in surprise.

“Nice place,” Draco said admiringly when he accepted the cup from Harry.

“Thanks,” Harry responded, taking the seat next to him at the bar. “McG, erm, Minerva was kind enough to give me several rooms that I could reconfigure to my needs. With three children, it’s...best with a lot of space.”

Draco laughed. “Merlin, I can only imagine. I know how it can be with just one. I wouldn’t trade him for the world, mind, but it can get hectic.”

Harry hid his personal concerns behind a bright smile. “It ensures that life is never dull. I need to figure out who my neighbour is so that I can warn them about the energy levels of my crew.”

“That would be me,” Draco said as he sipped his tea. “That’s really why I came by.”

“Oh Merlin, don’t tell me I’m already in trouble and I’m not even unpacked yet.” Harry ran his fingers through his hair as he gave Draco a sheepish grin.

“No, though I do consider myself properly warned now.” Draco glanced at the door as he spoke. “Speaking of which, where are the juniors?”

“With Ginny. She took pity on me and gave me a couple of days to get settled before they descended. I was just contemplating what a monumental task that is when you arrived.”

Draco nodded in understanding. “So, as I said, the reason I came by. Minerva implemented a mentor program here amongst the staff a few years ago. All new staff members have an experienced member to be their mentor for the first year. Lucky you, you get me.” Draco stopped, looking into Harry’s eyes.

Harry blinked in surprise, his eyebrows up beneath his long fringe. “I...erm…”

Draco froze, then stood. “Right, then,” he said, his voice missing the warmth of just a few minutes ago, “I’ll let Minerva know you’d like a different mentor.”

Harry sighed. No, this wasn’t what he wanted. Without thought, he reached out and wrapped his fingers around Draco’s wrist. “Wait, please. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just surprised.” Harry started to panic, needed to explain. “Please, just sit.”

Draco hesitated, finally nodded and took his seat again.

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at Draco and beginning to speak again. “Old habits,” he said quietly, “they pop up at the worst times, if I get nervous or insecure.” He looked down at his hands, at the bitten nails and brushed his thumbs over them carelessly. “I know things are different now. I’m sorry and I’d, erm, I’d like for us to be friends.” With that, he offered his hand in an odd reversal of a moment from so long ago.

Draco smiled at the offered hand before returning his gaze to Harry’s face, then shook it warmly. “Friends, then.”

“Definitely.” He grinned and motioned toward the sofa. “More comfortable on the sofa I think.”

“So,” Harry began sheepishly as they took their seats, “this mentor thing. What exactly does it mean?”

“Despite the fact that we lived here for years, it was as students,” Draco explained. “It’s different on staff, as Professors, so we are paired up for the first year, longer if we wish it, to help each other get through things and adjust. It’s my job to help you get settled, to show you where everything is, help you navigate this year. That includes anything you need, help moving, with the children, lessons preparation,” Draco shrugged, “whatever.”

Harry nodded, feeling his tension starting to ease and he gave Draco a genuine smile. “That, Merlin, that makes me feel better. I can’t even tell you how scary I find all of this. People keep telling me I’ll be fine, no reason to be afraid but, fuck, I am.”

“First of all,” Draco said seriously, “never let anyone tell you how you should feel. You feel how you feel and it’s always valid. Second, it’s normal. I was terrified during my first year and Flitwick was a lifesaver. As far as how it works, it works whatever way works best for us and since this is all new to you, I’m depending on you to help me know what you need. You need to be honest with me, Harry. About anything and everything. I’m here to help you and hopefully, we will help each other. Do you have any specific questions?”

There was an almost visceral reaction to Draco’s words, the validation of his feelings resting in the muscles between his shoulder blades which he filed away to look more closely at later. As for questions, his mind whirled, scarcely knowing where to start. So much to think about. Finally, he settled on a direction. “Right, then. Ok, well, despite being divorced for over a year, this is the first time I’ll be a single dad and that terrifies me a lot.”

“So you and Ginny lived together after the divorce?”

Harry nodded. “We had a big house and three children that didn’t really understand what was happening. It seemed easier.”

“That makes sense. We did as well until her training started. What changed for you two?” Draco asked quietly, then quickly added, “not that you have to share anything you’d rather not.”

Smiling, Harry shrugged. “What happened between me and Gin is a conversation for another day, one that needs a much stronger drink than tea. As for how I wound up here, well,” he continued, “Ginny started her relationship with…” 

“Blaise,” Draco provided with a nod.

“Right, Blaise, and it seemed like a good time to move on, you know? So, I was here visiting Hagrid and Minerva asked if I’d be interested in teaching DADA and well, here I am. Because of Gin’s schedule, I’m primary parent now. When she’s home, they’ll go with her. The Floo’s connected to my house.”

“Not that different to my own situation,” Draco offered. “Astoria is pursuing a new career in design and is working and studying in Paris, so not a lot of free time. Scorpius visits when she has breaks but mostly he’s here with me.”

“Speaking of Scorpius, what do you do with him while you teach?”

Draco smiled and his eyes lit up. “Hogwarts daycare and early education center.”

“Hogwarts has daycare? Since when?”

“Since I went on a crusade my first year here and demanded a safe and educational place for my son and the other staff members’ children.”

Harry saw the pride in Draco’s eyes and he laughed and clapped his hand on Draco’s shoulder. “Oh well done, Draco. I’d have loved to see that. And seriously, what a relief. I was really stressing over what to do for them. I’d assumed I’d have to hire someone.”

“It’s really quite a lovely setup. It’s on the third floor in that empty area we were warned out of first year but you won’t recognize it. It’s been completely redone to suit the children’s needs. In the meantime, how about I help you get your home settled. I did mine yesterday so I’d be free today to help you.”

Harry agreed with a nod and a smile, feeling the worst of his tension bleeding away. He could do this. “The furniture was delivered about an hour ago, so all that’s left is the unpacking and making the beds.”

“The castle has elves for things like that, Harry,” Draco reminded him as they took their cups into the kitchen. “Best get used to letting them tend to those things and save your strength for other things.” With that, Draco snapped his fingers twice in quick succession and Kreacher appeared, bowing to Harry.

“Master is to be needing something from Kreacher?” the old elf asked in his gruff voice.

“Hello, Kreacher,” Harry said kindly, “I’m glad to see you well. I’m moving in today and was hoping to get the beds made before my children arrive.”

“Of course, Master, right away.” Without waiting for a response, he popped away.

“So,” Draco said, “shall we tackle the children’s rooms first? We have a bit of time before lunch.”

OoO

As they entered the boys room, a tapping at the window made Harry smile and he made his way over. Opening the window, he held out his arm and Hedwig settled there with a soft hoot.

“Beautiful,” Draco said as he drew close, his eyebrows furrowing. “I...I thought she, during the,” Draco’s voice trailed off.

“She was injured, badly” Harry responded as he gently brushed her feathers, “and Hagrid spent months nursing her back to health. It was touch and go for a while but we survived, both of us, didn’t we girl?” Harry coo’d and smiled and Hedwig hooted in response. “There are fresh treats in your cage.” Hedwig hooted one last time and flew out of the room. Harry was still smiling when he turned to Draco. “So, shall we get started then?”

Later, they made their way to the Great Hall for lunch. “A lot as changed here since we were students. We have some new teachers,” Draco said “our Muggle Studies has a program coordinator, Jennifer Honey. She’s very popular with the younger children and she helps out at the daycare. Her daughter Matilda teaches Mind and Wandless Magic.”

“They teach that now?” Harry said, shaking his head. “I wish they’d have had that when we were here. That would have come in very handy.”

“I agree completely,” Draco responded, standing aside and holding the door to allow Harry to enter first. “Minerva is working on a number of changes to bring Hogwarts into the 20th Century. Our first meeting will be just after lunch, then I'll show you around and explain the changes that have already happened.”


	2. Hot Chocolate Makes Me Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Harry settles in, their children arrive and they bond over hot chocolate.

August 2010

Entering the Great Hall, Harry paused, nostalgia washing over him like a warm shower. He looked around, taking in the floating candles, the enchanted ceiling, the long polished tables, empty for now but ready and waiting. When he finally looked back, it was to see Draco waiting patiently for him. Harry felt himself blush as he realized he’d just frozen there. 

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.”

“Don’t worry about it. I did the same thing the first time Filius brought me in here.” Draco gave him a friendly smile and motioned toward the table. “Hungry?”

When his stomach rumbled, he laughed and nodded, following Draco to his place at the head table. They sat down and the table was filled with steaming bowls and platters and Harry’s mouth watered. “I have missed this!”

“One of the best perks of the job, no doubt,” Draco agreed as he tucked in.

Making their way back through the corridors towards their flats, Draco stopped at a door that Harry hadn’t even noticed. 

“This is our office,” Draco waved his wand to open the door. 

“This is next to my place.”

“Yes, and mine,” Draco motioned toward the doors on opposite sides. “The office opens to our main rooms, our flats share a common wall at the back, your bedroom and mine.”

For a fleeting moment, Harry had a completely unbidden thought that he quickly brushed away. Merlin, he’d been single too long. “So,” he said looking anywhere but at his companion, “I guess we’d better get things into place. We still have classrooms to set up.” 

Around four, Draco sighed and stood, stretching his back and arms. “So, Harry, do you have a broom still?”

Harry stilled, his head slightly to the side and a sly smile on his face. “I might have picked up the latest Infinity X3 on my way here,” he admitted.

“Excellent choice,” Draco said with a grin. “I’m fond of the Firebolt line myself, got the Supersonic a month ago. Do you fly a lot then?”

“Not in far too long,” Harry admitted with a sigh.

“We could go now.” Draco moved from his bookshelf to Harry’s side of the room. “I, for one, could use a bit of fresh air and sun. What do you say?”

Harry grinned and dropped the books he was holding on the desk with a thud. “You’re on!” and they both left to get their brooms.

OoO

The next afternoon, Harry was standing in his sitting room talking with Ginny when there was a knock on the door. The children came running out of their bedrooms when Harry opened the door and invited Draco and Scorpius inside. “I hope we aren’t intruding. Scorpius asked to come by and see everyone.”

“Of course not,” Harry said, motioning them in, “you’re both welcome anytime. Kids, come say hello to Mr. Malfoy and Scorpius. Draco, James, Lily and you know Arthur.”

“Hello James, hello Lily, it’s nice to meet you. Arthur, a pleasure to see you again.” He shook their hands as he spoke, giving them a bright smile.

“Hello Mr. Malfoy, hey Scorpius,” Arthur said, bouncing as he stood in front of the young boy. When Scorpius smiled and waved, Arthur looked at his dad. “Can Scorpius come and play with us, Dad?”

Harry looked at Draco and when Draco nodded, Harry smiled. “Sure, Artie.” He looked around the room at the children. “Your mum is leaving soon. Be sure you’ve said your goodbyes. We’ll have hot chocolate in a little while.” The children cheered and surrounded Ginny, showering her with hugs before the four of them disappeared into the bowels of the flat.

“Hello Draco,” Ginny said with a smile.

“Ginny,” Draco responded as he took her offered hand. “You’re looking well.”

“Thanks. You too.” Turning to Harry, she shrugged her coat on and gave him a quick buss on the cheek. “I need to run, dinner with the Richardsons waits for no one.” With that, she turned and disappeared into the Floo.

“I hope I didn’t cause her to leave.” Draco said as they sat on the sofa.

“No, dinner did. The Richardsons are her editors and they are adamant about punctuality.”

“Ah,” Draco 

There was a moment of odd silence, but it was broken by loud laughter from the children. Harry grinned. “They seem to be getting on well.”

“Scorpius is thrilled to have more children his own age here this year, especially Arthur. He was quite impressed with him in the hospital. He helped Scorpius feel less afraid when he was so sick before we found the cure.”

Harry rubbed his neck nervously. “I think I owe Scorpius an apology, then. Artie asked several times to go and see him after they both left the hospital. I didn’t say no, didn’t intentionally keep them apart, I was just,” Harry sighed, “caught up in the drama in my own head and didn’t listen well enough, if I’m honest. I try to be a good dad but...” his voice trailed off and he shrugged.

“Harry,” Draco said quietly, “I’m sure you’re a good dad. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Things come up, it’s ok. We have time now, plenty of time for us all to become good friends. Yes?”

“Yes!” Harry agreed grinning. “Do you by any chance like hot chocolate?”

“I love hot chocolate,’ Draco assured him, “and if you’re making some, I have some very special marshmallows to go with it.”

Ten minutes later, the six of them were gathered in Harry’s kitchen around steaming mugs of chocolate. Draco moved through, dropping several large snowman-faced marshmallows into each cup.

“Did you make these?” Harry asked as he watched them float in his chocolate.

“We did, Scorpius and I.”

“I did the chocolate drops!” Scorpius declared as he popped one of the treats into his mouth at the same time as Arthur.

“I’m impressed,” Harry grinned as he sipped his drink. “So you cook as well.”

“Minimally,” Draco responded. “I bake well, I cook minimally.”

“Is that so?” Harry chuckled, “I cook well and bake minimally. 

"How fortunate," Draco said, his eyes sparkling as he pinned Harry with a contemplative look over the rim of his mug.


	3. Socks and Sleepovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relaxing in front of the fire is a good place to start becoming better friends, especially when your children already are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's taken me 10 days to get this chapter written and posted. RL has a way of doing that. I'm sorry for the delay but you will get it all, I promise, even if we're Christmasing in February. Thanks for sticking with me.
> 
> Huge thanks to Tami for being my sounding board and beta despite writing her own story. Any remaining mistakes are all on me.

August 2010

With the children finally tucked into bed, including an impromptu sleepover with Scorpius and Artie, Harry and Draco kicked off their shoes and settled on the sofa with fresh cups of tea and biscuits.

“Your children are wonderful, Harry, but Merlin they’re exhausting,” Draco said with a chuckle as he took a sip of his tea.

Harry laughed. “Now you understand the very real fear I felt over taking them on alone.” He paused, looking over at his former rival/new friend. “Thanks to you, I don’t feel so alone. Thank you.”

Draco nodded and offered Harry a biscuit. “You’re welcome.”

Harry took a moment in the ensuing quiet to drink in the scene, the comfort he felt with Draco in such contrast to the past. He looked toward the fire and chuckled.

“What’s funny?” Draco asked, his voice curious.

Harry pointed at their feet, close together on the ottoman. “That. Our socks. It’s as though we shopped in the same place.”

Draco followed his gaze and grinned. “Courtesy of my son, I’m afraid. His mum rather indulges him when she takes him shopping. What’s your excuse?”

“Same, though knowing Ginny, she encourages it. I was just grateful they were normal socks and not some Weasley joke. You never quite know in that family.”

“How are you guys sorting Christmas?”

“I’m invited for Christmas Day like always, though I’m not sure if I’ll go. The kids will be with Gin for Christmas Eve through the new year - seemed only fair as I see them so much more than she does. We’ll do our Christmas on the 22nd and 23rd. It will be strange but it fits her schedule and it looks like she and Blaise are getting serious.”

Draco cleared his throat and Harry looked at him, his eyebrows raised. “What do you know?”

“Nothing...much.” Draco sighed and shrugged. “Not true, actually,” he began.

“He’s going to propose isn’t he?”

Draco closed his eyes and then opened them, nodding slowly. “Please don’t tell. He wants it to be a surprise.”

For a moment, Harry’s heart lurched but only in the ‘I wish I were moving on as well as she is’ way.

“Are you upset?”

“No,” Harry said and was pleased to find he really meant it. “I do think I’ll pass on going though. Not that anyone would mind, I just don’t know that I’m ready to…”

“Ready to what? Watch your ex move on?”

Harry sighed. “I’m truly happy for her and I wish her all the best.” He shrugs. “It doesn’t matter, I’m fine.” His bright smile was back in place, if a little wobbly.

“I won’t push but I’m willing to listen whenever you want to talk, you know that right?”

Harry nodded and promptly shifted topics. “What about you? What are your plans?

“Similar to yours. Scorpius goes to Astoria’s on the 23rd after lunch and will be gone for several weeks. Like Ginny, her schedule is brutal and I don’t begrudge her time with him. So, it looks like we’ll both be child free for the holidays and Mother is going on a cruise with Aunt Andi, which I’m quite pleased about.” 

Harry contemplated saying something about them maybe spending Christmas together but he stopped himself. They were just getting started being friends. Best take this slowly, especially since he had no fucking clue what he actually thought or wanted. No need to spew his messy head onto poor Draco.

Draco watched the flames licking at the logs in the fire. “So, Tomorrow, we’ll take the children and get them settled into childcare. It’s a full-time facility, so if you need time away from them for events or just peace of mind, it’s there.”

“Well, that’s unexpected and not unwelcome. Oh, by the way, we never got to chat about the other changes here - distracted by flying and all that,” Harry laughed, anxious to lighten the conversation.

“Oh, right, well, Minerva took advantage of the extensive rebuild that needed to happen to institute some of her ideas. She had the castle reconfigured to suit her plans. So, what’s different? Well, to start, there’s no sorting because there’s no more houses and no designated tables for eating.” 

“You’re joking?” Harry’s eyes were as big as saucers.

“I’m not. She met with all of the teachers and governors before the rebuilding started and said that she had seen enough division in this school to last a lifetime and it was going to end. So, she put an end to the houses and the sorting and created an entire new system. Everything is different, for the better, if you ask me.”

“Wow, I had no idea. I’ve clearly spent too much time in my own head. That’s radical.”

“It is, but really, after the war, things needed to be different. Too many of us were caught up in the mindset of houses and those things that divided us. Too many people were pigeon-holed and proved that system wrong during the war.”

“So, how does it work now?” Harry asked, sitting he teacup on the table and turning slightly to face Draco. You said there’s a new system.”

“Yes,” he said, mimicking Harry’s position on the sofa. “Students start at age 10 and are in school for eight years. They’re sorted by their year at Hogwarts and are on the floor designated by their year, so first years on first floor, second years on second floor and so on. There are no passwords for common rooms to encourage visits, though dorms are still off limits to the opposite sex and use passwords.”

Harry shook his head, his mind whirling with how different everything was now. “So, is there more?”

Draco laughed. “A lot more, but it’s getting late and we have a busy day tomorrow.” He stood and began to clear the dishes but Harry waved him off.

“I’ve got this. No worries.”

“OK, well, thanks for the tea and company. It’s...nice getting to know you properly.” With that, Draco made his way toward the door.

“Come for breakfast tomorrow. Scorpius is already here. I’ll cook a proper fry up.”

Draco grinned, his hand on the doorknob. “You’re on, see you tomorrow then. Sleep well.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Harry watched Draco turn and walk out the door, noting the long, neat braid down his back and his incredibly fine arse just underneath the end of it. As the door closed, he shook his head and made his way into the kitchen to wash up the tea things. If he found Draco fit, well, no one needed to know.


	4. Author update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update on WIP

August 2019

Update to my update

As some of you know, I had a medical episode in late April and nearly died. I had my leg amputated, am now maintaining diabetes and am trying to learn to walk again on a prosthetic. Time and energy have been in short supply and I'm woefully behind. I've withdrawn from fests until I can get this and my other wips taken care of. It's going slow but steady. I'll likely be rewriting these first chapters as I'm no longer under the time restraints of the fest and I'm planning a slightly different direction, though not a drastic one, Thanks for sticking with me. It might well be december or beyond but this will get finished. Until then, be blessed.

February 2019

My deepest apologies that the updates for this fic have been so slow. I have enough of you subscribed to this fic that I felt I owed you an update.

Just after I started this story, I started a new job. The training for it was a bit brutal and transitioning to doing the job was as well. That, combined with the holidays and most recently, a 3 week battle with the flu in our household had me struggling to write. I've finally gotten back to it this week and have a chapter with my beta currently.

I just wanted to reassure you that the entire story is plotted out, being worked on and will not be abandoned. It might be December before it's done but it will get there. There are some heavy themes coming in this story, Harry's journey through therapy and Draco's part in that, issues of PTSD and childhood abuse. Each chapter dealing with that will be labeled appropriately. Since this mirrors my own journey, writing this won't follow a particular schedule but rather my ability to write the emotions and experiences.

Thanks to each of you who read and comment. I appreciate you all!


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